Since March 16th, until yesterday, my life is turned into a category 5 hurricane that wouldn't growing intensity, and weaken, before growing strong once again. Sometimes life can be very cruel mistress, as I believe we're probably all aware of. I one sure thing in life, is that life is always changing. Nothing in it will ever stay the same. My life certainly is no different. The last several months, I'm really have been more than difficult. It started at my previous residents, with completely incompetent management. That woman was a liar, and only interested in trying to save her own ass. Along with my next door neighbor, who had don't literally kept her children dependent upon her, by not helping them learn and grow into capable and confident adults. In fact, she has other children by on SSI as soon as she could, so that she could claim to be there payee, and live off of them, so she's never have to work herself. She tries coming off as, "Oh, poor me! My kids Treat Me So Bad... And they say how I'm using them for money, but that's not true..." even though, she never tried looking for work, even though our children flat out said then unless she did they would continue to look at her as sponging off them. They both refer to her as a psycho. I'm sorry to say that they are right. Not only do both of her girls have bipolar disorder, but they both have borderline disorder as well. Order line is a direct result of their mother's narcissistic of use of them. But would make my previous neighbor angry was the fact that I took her meal ticket away from her. Her youngest, though 21, was still getting SSI, but she was still the payee, until I took her daughter to Social Security office, and had them talk with her to place it in her control. Her mother has hated me ever since. But here's the funny thing... Both our daughters still love me, they value what I have to say, and that has not changed a bit, no matter how much their mother still is bad-mouthing me to them. This is after I have moved away! LOL!
Anyway, I thought once I moved to this new apartment, things will be better. I wouldn't be dealing with the the b**** manager over there anymore, or my b**** ass neighbor... However, with a new place of residence, comes a brand new set of problems. Where to move to is actually smaller complex, though we're right next door. I do like this complex better, as far as the looks. I also love the fact I have two bedroom apartment now. But from the night I moved in, I was targeted. I have a distinct feeling that the people giving me issues, and lying about me, where the two men living on either side of me. They are old, they look sick, they sound sick, and they seem like they just have crotchety attitudes. Almost like they think because they're having a bad time of things, that everyone around them should as well. I don't have any proof it's them, but it makes a certain amount of sense. And some of the things I was being accused of were insane. Like being accused of letting the homeless in. If I were letting people in complex, that means I would have invited them. If I would have invited them, that means I would have let him stay in my apartment. I would not have let them just crashed somewhere on the complex property. But that's not the most ridiculous one. By and far, that award goes to whoever planes me for opening a garage door from the inside with a button on the wall to go outside, when the freaking gate door is right there!! So why would I open the garage door like that when I can simply use the gate door which is more convenient? I mean, how does that even make sense in any reality? When I actually related that one to my property manager he told me he hadn't heard anything about that one. I told him funny, since I heard it from the onsite manager. There is just some crazy ass accusations that have gone on around here. They also kept building up and building up. For my complex PTSD, one of my huge triggers and is either being blamed for things I'm not doing or being told I'm not doing things that I am. In most of these cases, I was being blamed for doing things I clearly wasn't. But eventually it all exploded on March 16th. I was so pushed beyond the limits of what I could emotionally handle, that I flipped out, and got suicidal. Unfortunately, I told that to my property manager, in which case he turned around and called the PERT team. Pert stands for psychiatric emergency response Team. But here's the thing... They don't know how to handle people in psychological crisis. Oh, and the cops on this team... Do you know how much training they actually get before starting work with pert? A whole 3 days! Oh yeah that's enough time to get a master's degree in psychology! No I'll tell you what they think. These cops think that it gives them the right to be bullies, and that policy says it's okay to traumatize a person who was already traumatized. Just because you're having a psychological crisis they think by treating me like a criminal there helping you. Where is there any kind of logic in that? Oh, and if you take an attitude in your voice because you do not want to see them, they automatically label you as being confrontational and non-compliant. So whether or not it's warranted they're going to cut off your ass and three in the back of a cop car. They don't care. If they did, I wouldn't have bruises on me for over two and a half weeks, all because I refused to allow this officer to put my arm behind my back and handcuffed me. I have no criminal record, I am not a criminal, and I have no History of Violence. Why? Because I'm not a violent person!! But I told them I have complex PTSD. Just for the fact I said that I have PTSD, automatically means I had some kind of trauma. Did it matter? Nope! And now because of this a******, officer Larkin, my complex PTSD symptoms went through the roof. And another little interesting tidbit. Yeah sure they eventually got me the hospital, that I wasn't kept for 72 hours. I got my ass released the very next day. So they thought they were all great and wonderful...? No. If a person is like me, they know what to say to get out. I lied, and it was actually kind of obvious I lied, but I said I wasn't suicidal, so they sent me home. I was very actively suicidal.
For quite a while it was hard for me to get through the days. I stayed suicidal for quite a while. And I would level off, feel okay for a little bit, and then sink right back into depression. And I mean deep dark depression. If it had not been for my good cuz, Troy, my friends Kyle and Liz, and definitely my friend Marcus to, I don't know where I would be. Between Troy and Markus, I wasn't left alone very often or for long, which was an exceptionally good thing. However, every time I tried to do something, to make a complaint, or do something in regards to it that cop did to me, I would end up triggered again. That also includes his sergeant, where I hit the big blue wall, we're all cops cover for each other. I was so triggered and upset by Officer Larkin's boss, Sargent Moss, that I hung up on him. Way too full of himself in my opinion. But since I couldn't seem to make any Headway going the straight at the problem, I'm left doing the next best thing. I will be chronicling exactly what I went through, and posting it on every social media I have. This also includes the fact that I am going to look through my photos of the bruises I had, and post them on Instagram. I may even call the turko files, and the Union Tribune. I seriously doubt any other news organization would give a crap. They don't seem to give a crap about this kind of issue with someone's dead. But something like this... This organization's policies on how to deal with people in a emotional crisis I've got to change. It's bullcrap.
Anyway, everything that happened recently, beat down on me, like emotional thunder, lightning, and rain, with its gaelforce winds whipping around me. I really honestly thought this hurricane was going to destroy me... I thought it would completely tear me apart. It almost did. But I'm still here, and I plan to stay here. See, I'm pretty sure that these cops act like assholes, not just because of policy, but because they can. And I think what they count on the most, is it people who are an emotional crisis, or are mentally ill, won't say anything. That they will be too scared to say anything about what the cops did to them. Or that because they're crazy they'll just be dismissed anyway. Either way, that's not me. So sometime this week, I am throwing everything out there on social media I can, so that I can highlight the issues this supposedly psychiatric emergency response team has and how they deal with people, and how they definitely do not help! Because I'll tell you what, I'll be dead before they can get to me again. And that's just how it is. And no... I don't plan to let this go. They better watch out for their own hurricane coming.
