The Sun Comes Through the Storm



I actually hesitated to write this, but I have come to the point where I just want to get this out; the pain and the joy. And this is, after all, a chronicle of my life, so to say... My online diary.

I honestly thought things were going to be over. I thought I was going to have to shut the door on my daughter. On Friday, I was prepared to call the police and make a runaway report on her. I felt that one trespassing ticket would lead to another and another and I just didn't want to be financially responsible for her and her fiancé as they camped out. It wasn't like they wanted to do anything other than use me anyway. But funny enough, though I had seven hours of sleep, I was still exhausted and ended up falling asleep during the last fifteen minutes of group, which is one of the painful groups for me to sit through. But I had participated practically the whole time. But I don't remember falling asleep, of course. My eyes were closed anyway. That's usually how I am in groups if it's one of these groups where I know almost everything or it doesn't pertain to me. But the next thing I know, my eyes open and I am alone in the living room on the couch. I would have thought they'd wake me during group. But they didn't so either because I never fell asleep in group they decided to leave me undisturbed, or they didn't think I was actually sleeping, or that they knew just how little sleep I was getting and left me be. But either one, I had slept the night before. But I got up, had lunch - cheese sandwich on jalapeño cheese bread and a yogurt. I just knew thought, that I was just going to go back to sleep and that's exactly what I did. I went to my room, laid down on the bed, having absolutely no energy and fell asleep. I slept for four-five hours. By the time I woke up, it was almost time for dinner. In my opinion, just too late to make that call to the police.

The next morning I'm called by my daughter's fiancé telling me she's missing. That she's been missing for a day and night. That she had gone off with some friends and that he hadn't seen her since. Okay, I went from being asleep to being awake really fast. My first thought was to call the police. Of course, I asked him what he knew. He admitted to me that they had gotten into a physical fight. He admitted that it had been bad, but still  played it down that they had both hurt each other and blah, blah, blah... I asked if she had bruises. He said yes and said that he did too. Okay... I got the name and phone number of the guy she had originally gone off with. The first time I called and said who I was he hung up on me. He might not of believed me. The next time, I told him that if he didn't tell me where my daughter was I was going to call the cops, give them this number and let them track his ass down. He replied that would be interesting. I think he hung up again. The next time I called he didn't pick up so I started calling and calling and calling and calling and calling... think pit bull with a bone. It also kept him from being able to use his phone, which in turn, caused him to answer it again. I told him I wanted to know where she was. He told me he didn't know but she was safe. I was like, how does that make sense? And I drilled him a little more. I got a name. That was it and like where they sometimes meet up. I don't remember the whole conversation, but I was like, I was done talking. I wasn't getting anywhere. So I called her fiancé back. Apparently, he had the same information. He said he was going to call them back so I had already told her fiancé that if my daughter didn't show up within 12-24 hours I was calling the police and that since he was going to call this guy back to let him know this and that I am not joking. Even her fiancé knows that if I say I'm going to call the cops I will. I don't make empty threats.

Well, the message got delivered because within an hour I was talking with my daughter and I got filled in with what happened. Well, parts of it and it made me sick inside. She told me she was bruised up all over. That there was a little bruise on her face and she's right, it's really, really little, but it's there. However, when she told me the little bit that she told me, I felt so angry and sick. I asked her to send photos of the bruises. I wanted to see them - especially the one of her face, which as it turned out wasn't that big. The others that she set me photos of were... wow... So yeah, my anger built up quite a bit. But on the flipside of this, I felt like I could talk to my daughter again! It was like that negative energy surrounding her was finally GONE! OMG! I mean, I don't expect things to ever be great. If they get there, I'll be thrilled! If they don't, I'm just glad I can talk to her almost every day now and not worry that she's going to hold her claws out ready to strike me. It's sad, but it seems like the women in our little family seem to have to have something drastic happen to them before they see the light and realize something has to change. For me, it was January. For her, it was this. I was just glad to know that she's safe. That she's with people that just want to protect her and aren't going to let that little prick near her again!  She said there are even a couple of Hell's Angels wanting to protect her too. That made me think of someone I knew from my "previous life." But you don't mess with those guys so hey! That works for me. It was just nice to feel like I had reconnected with my daughter again; at least a little.

Yesterday she called me and told me that she was going over to her fiancé's mother's place to get her things and for me to call her and let her know. I had to make sure she had people going with her. At first  she said just one person or two and I was like... I don't know... even though I wasn't like the coward was about to do anything. But still. I didn't like the idea of her being in harm's way so to say. Then come to find out, there are like five other people going! I was like, okay, now I feel better. But I called the number I had for her and it can't take calls at this time. So I had to alternative than to call her fiancé. Thank God, he didn't answer so I got the chance to leave a voicemail. I told him to let his mother know what was about to happen and such and such, and then, just to get my Momma Bear in finally I said to him, "If you ever touch my daughter again there will be problems." And I hung up. I felt so go being able to say that! LOL! YES! It was awesome and I felt like finally I could act like a mother again - well, up to a certain point. After all, soon she's going to be 18... not that I'm going to stop being her mother. It's just, she is good at taking care of herself. It's unfortunate how it happened, but I way able to give her this gift that I didn't have. This sense of being independent. I never had that. I was taught learned helplessness. It's what my mother wanted, whether she realized it or not. I was the brat child. I was the worst child she'd ever seen. She was done having kids when I came along... emotionally she crippled me and made me think I wasn't good enough to live, let alone stand on my own two feet. And I definitely did not want that for my girl!

Anyway, today was Memorial Day, of course. We had a BBQ here for lunch, which was nice. There were two on kitchen duty for sides and then there were three of us for set-up. Everyone else was on clean-up and I really just didn't feel like doing clean-up. Plus set-up is so easy! You can't ask for an easier job! I ate too much, of course. Not a good thing, but it was so good! I grabbed a bag of chips - Fritos chili cheese flavor, a cup of coke and a cheese burger with fixings. That took me a lot to eat just by itself. Then after that, I went and got some baked beans, which is what I wanted, a piece of corn on the cob, a piece of watermelon, two cookies and a couple more bags of chips for later. LOL! Oh, and a cup of sprite. Needless to say, by the time I had gotten through the beans, corn and watermelon I felt like I was going to burst. It wasn't a good feeling. I went and laid down for about 20 minutes and then felt better. I actually noshed on some Fritos. Then I was talking with my nephew Manny and he was asking me where to find cheap sodas or if I knew of a place or he wished there was a place... I don't exactly remember, but I told him about the Circle K down at the corner where the sodas were .89 for the 44 oz. He was shocked. He was talking about 7 Eleven where he was paying $2. So shocked was he, he offered me a soda to walk down with him. He was so sweet! I had so been wanting a soda. My stomach was great at the time. I ended up getting a Wild Cherry Pepsi. I mean, I know I've said that I was going to keep with the diet drinks... however, I hadn't had a soda for awhile and I just wanted what I wanted, you know? Then went we got back I didn't want to sit in the dining room drinking the soda because Rhonda the administrator was there and opted for the Serenity garden. We talked. Then we were joined by my other nephew Jerry. Another resident had been talking on and off with us, followed by another and we all started talking about going to Mexico. Basically I was sharing some of the food places and such when I was down there, but that I didn't think I could go back to Mexico. Just too many bad memories. But he showed me this video of where some of this family lived - Manny. And it was really beautiful. I thought, yeah, maybe I could go there. Still, my stomach was rebelling. That knot of anxiety was there. It sucks. I would like to go down and not feel this way, though I doubt I can ever go back to Rosarito. I don't want to run into anyone I know. I just want to close that chapter of my history. Plus, there are people I really don't want to see again who I would ultimately cross paths with again, knowing my luck. And I would have to face leaving my cats. I mean, right in my face and I just can't deal with that. I don't even know who took them. I just hope they are safe and happy.

Anyway, after finishing the soda, I decide I am going to check in on my daughter! Especially since I feel like I can now! I just wanted to make sure that she was able to get her things. Not that I would have known what to do if she hadn't been able to. But I was relieved. Of course, she said her fiancé had dumped everything out all over the place out of the bag they had been in, just to be a spiteful little prick. Surprise, surprise there. But I finally got to tell her how good it was to be able to not be afraid to call her. That I felt like I could talk to her again. She told me how she felt so much better away from him. That she was much better off. That she had people that cared and wanted to protect her. He had her totally isolated, just like abusers do. And I told her that it was as if this cloak of negativity was just gone now. And we talked about other things too, like I mentioned school and she didn't jump down my throat! We talked about having the information ready. That should something happen I'll write another medical note for a friend of hers who's at least 18 to be able to get her seen when she's sick. But it was just good to talk with her and we hung up again saying "I love you" and have there be meaning there again, I think. It is on my end, anyway, and I think it is on hers too. She is seeing just what he did to her and her life. Thank God!

Her brother also called me last night. He got himself his own phone and plan that he's going to pay for every month on his own! I think that's great! He was also telling me about this program he's going to look into that will help him with housing, job, education or something... I encouraged him to check more into it for sure. I also told him what happened to his sister. Yeah... as much as he was ready to disown her, that's still his sister and what's been broken can be fixed now that she's away from him. He told me flat out he wanted to beat her fiancé's butt, to put it mildly. I told him it's not worth him going to jail. However, I had my own fantasies about hiring someone to do harm to him. Not like I have the money or could live with myself. But it's nice to plot revenge in the head, even if it's never put into action. I had even posted a status on my Facebook, asking if anyone knew of a hitman that took payment plans! LOL! No one knew why I had posted it, but I got a bunch of likes on it! LOL! You have to have some laughs in the crap, right? But the silver lining here is that my daughter is away from that monster. That her and I are getting a relationship back and that she feels like she can move forward in her life. Those are important things to me. Not that I would have ever wished what happened to her on her. But it did have a positive effect.

Anyway, I worried my Aussie last night, I think. I wrote him an email talking about all the assholes that people had offered to take out for me and had never allowed it and how sometimes I regret it. And I did kind of go on about it. So I guess that worried him and when he wrote me back he made sure that I should just try to let the revenge thing go and that they'd get theirs. He was also happy that my daughter and I had reconnected and there was another personal part that I'm not gonna share! ;-)

Last night I didn't get any sleep. Not that it was a bad thing. I have functioned all day without a problem, only taking a 20 minutes nap, unintentionally. Just laying on the bed on the phone, writing with my friend from the Netherlands... waiting for a reply... and the bed is comfy and... zzzzzz... LOL! But I woke up and just in time to help with the set up for the BBQ. It was great writing my with friend from the Netherlands. We're actually working on an interesting story. We've actually been writing stories that hint at assassins, but we haven't really written anything about them directly. It's like my character who is definitely an assassin though she says she's a Security Consultant, we haven't seen anything she's done yet. She's on vacation. She then runs into these famous ice skating pair and they strike up a conversation. The woman is getting married and the man is her best friend, who's going to give her away. Anyway, my character is attracted to his character, but she's not going to pursue anything. But she does talk about how she did used to ice skate awhile back. He's looking for a new partner because she's getting married and she's pregnant. Even though my character doesn't think for a moment they could even think she could do something like this they actually evaluate her skills the next day. She's a little beyond the age, but she does have the raw talent. Still, that's all it is and she does have a job and such. But they develop this friendship and she and he eventually end up together. Though just in the beginning stages right now. But it's been really fun to write! I mean, real kind of life, though maybe a bit exaggerated, has been fun! And it gives me more ways to develop my characters for my actual stories. So I'm more than happy. I can't wait for tomorrow to get writing with her again!

Anyway, my stomach is upset. I'm not sure if it's gas or a beginning ulcer, which would really suck, but my stomach keeps hurting at least once everyday. It was okay for awhile earlier, but it's hurting again. And I would like to actually have some dinner before it's too late. I want baked beans on bread. Really simple, but really delicious! We'll see though. Kitchen closes at 10:00pm and it's just after 9:00pm. But I am just so happy. I have a part of my daughter back! I have my son! My life, for this moment, is good! The storm for the moment has broken up and is passing away.

Cloudy, Windy and Lucky!

These last two days have been fantastic! I hardly know what to say! Yesterday I woke up and I was still a bit tired. I got more sleep than just 2-3 hours, but I still got under 6. So I was rather tired/sleepy when I wasn't doing something. I was glad to do my chore actually. After it though, Jerry and I hung out. We started talking about magic. Yes, magic. I had a lot of questions for him and wanted confirmation on a few things with him which I got. I can feel things rather than see things for the time being. But that's good. I am very young in the process. I don't expect anyone to understand this, but I had some very interesting visions and I needed to know what they meant. I got the answers. It was exhilarating! Afterwards he told me I was going to have a very lucky day. He wasn't kidding! I am drawn to the water and I have more than one reason to be drawn to the water now, so I went to the beach and walked in the surf. The skies were gray, the wind was blowing a bit, the waves were strong and I still took off my socks and sandals and walked in the water. I let it splash over my feet and sometimes when the waves surged it would go up to mid calf. I was wearing jeans so... but I knew I was going to get wet so it didn't really bother me that much. I was looking for shells, but with as strong as the waves were I couldn't find any and what I did find were broken pieces. I asked just to find one whole, intact shell. Guess what? I found one! It was literally the only one! I also took 42 pictures of the beach and mostly of the waves. I even got to feel the spray on my face a few times. I loved it! Then when I got back to my place I decided to go fill my bus pass for the month finally. On the way, I stopped at 7 Eleven because I had to break my $5 bill. I expected 3 $1 bills back. I got one and then a $2 bill!! Wow! I was so excited! There was no way I was trading that in for two bucks! Then went I went to leave, the other person working there handed me a triangular box and said, "Here have a free piece of pizza." Another WOW! So I decided to push my luck a little bit and since I didn't have the change to ride the bus to the transit center I thought I would explain to the bus driver and see what happened. Worst case scenario I broke my other $5 and waited for the next bus. Well, the bus driver told me not to worry about it! So I got a free drive to the transit center, then when I got to Customer Service there was no line! OMG! I was told later by my other nephew I should have bought a lottery ticket! LOL! I couldn't! I just don't gamble. It's like a waste of money to me. But I could not have asked for a more lucky or better day! The only irritating part of yesterday was that last night I couldn't get onto the computer because the new woman working here didn't have the password to get me on to it. Ugh! But that's okay. I got over it! I did sleep relatively early last night, but I woke up so groggy! Ah well. The last two nights caught up. Hopefully tonight I'll sleep well and wake up refreshed! That would be so nice!

Today has been pretty good for the most part. There was the hint of thunder and lightening however. As I said, I woke up still sleepy. That sucked, but I managed to start my day relatively easy. I did my chore, ate breakfast, went to my room and tried my best not to fall asleep! LOL! I started writing with my friend Patty B, checked in on Facebook and the like. Then I went to morning group where I pretty much wanted to fall asleep. If I hadn't been able to participate I might have! But I woke up a bit when I could add my input and share what I'd learned over time. Basically the lessons we're on in DBT was interpersonal relationships... Yeah... Maybe I'll learn something. Maybe not. I know how to manage relationships except with family. That's an issue. But right now I am learning. Other than that, I already know everything they're talking about. So I shared my own personal experiences. Of course, after that, and when I went back to my room I started getting tired again, so I decided to go to the Farmers Market. Thought I could anyway. I hopped the bus and it turns out that it moves from one location to another. Yeah... when it moves it doesn't open until 5:00pm. Yeah, it was barely 2:00pm I think. So yeah, that wasn't happening. Of course, on my way there my daughter contacts me about her having a job. Great, I said. But I told I hoped she was still going to go to school. She freakin gives me attitude! Excuse me?? That got me worked up. Eventually I told her that she needed to focus on herself other than everyone else because she was asking me when I was going to get a job, which I knew she meant it in a "Bitch" fashion. I almost told her none of her business, but I told her I was waiting on my training class because I could get a job. Then she starts talking about Jordan her brother and is he working yet or still being a loser or however she put it. That's when I told her to focus on herself. Then she comes at me about staying out of her business. I was ready to say something else to her, but I chose not to reply. I still want to. I won't tell her I'm her mother because that will set all kinds of other things off. But she hasn't been going to school and I keep getting calls twice a day from her school notifying me she's absent and each time it's during a group. But then she asks me when I'm getting her her Medi-Cal card. I swear, I want to smack her or at the very least disown her and let her figure this crap out on her own. I am tired of her attitude and then turning around and expecting me to do for her. I suppose I am the one that has to get the card for her, but I honestly don't want to do a thing for that child. After what she did to me in January - her and her fiancé - I don't owe her squat. What I should have done was give her up to the state. I really just don't need the crap she gives me. It ends up derailing my recovery from my mental health issues like the PTSD, which I had added to because of January. When she's 18 that's it. She better not ask me for a thing and if she doesn't like it, I hope she has a nice life. If she wants to change and wants me in her life at some point then maybe things will change, but as I see them right now, I don't see us having much of a future as family. I know that's so sad, but... it is how it is. So that's the threat of thunder and lightening. I am still rather upset when I think about it. She pushes my buttons like no one else can.

I did, however, put it out of my mind and on my way back to the transit center I stopped at the t-shirt mart to see if they had any light blue t-shirts in my size. Jerry told me I would need one once I started working as a volunteer at the Humane Society. They had one so I grabbed it. It wasn't exactly the color I wanted, but it was close enough! Plus it was under $6! Then I decided I was going to walk down this one street and look to see what shops or places were there. I found a coffee house called Maui Wow. They, of course, specialize in Hawaiian coffee. I couldn't resist. I went inside and ordered an iced coffee. They had macadamia nut flavored syrup!! I got three shots of it in a large, purple, plastic Tiki cup with a pink lid! My two favorite colors! It was really good! The bad thing was that my reception sucked for my cell phone and I didn't think to turn my wifi on. Duh! So I got kicked off aim. Not good when I was writing with Patty B. But as soon as I left, after drinking most of my coffee, it came right back. Then I continued walking to the transit. Once I got to my stop, I got a soda at the Circle K and headed back to the house. After I got settled, my other nephew was there. He finished two chapters of my book and asked if it was romantic, I told him yes. Then I realized from our previous conversation that he was rather innocent and I told him it was probably better that he didn't read any more of it anyway! LOL! The scenes in there are rather explicit. LOL! Yeah... He asked me a lot of questions and I answered them the best I could without being two graphic, but he wasn't interested in reading more of it anyway because of the romance. But then we started talking about stories and how he didn't think they needed romance. I mean, I suppose they don't, but I think it adds so much more to a character or story. It can turn a one dimensional character into a real full-blow character. When I wrote for Star Trek PBeM role play groups I was the one the guys went to to  complicate their character's lives to make them multi-dimensional for the most part. I was kind of the Complication Queen! LOL! It was fun! I miss the role play groups. We had such a great group of writers.

After that we started talking about the tarot. He didn't know what Tarot cards were so I explained that to him and that I had a deck that got left in Mexico with just about everything else of mine. I have ordered another deck from Amazon. Same deck. But it won't have  my energy in it. It will take time for it to soak it in. Not that I won't be accurate with my readings, but they work better the longer you have them. Plus, no one else should handle your deck except you, because it can muddle the energies. I was explaining how you chose a deck by which one you're drawn to. A lot of it is about the artwork/design. It will represent you as a person. I was really good at the tarot. I have no doubt I still am. I have that ability within me. You have to have the ability too. I used a three card spread mostly. Past, Present, Future. Now the thing is, I fully believe the future is fluid. Just because I read you what I see for the future doesn't mean it's going to happen that way. That's just the outcome of the path the person is on at that given time. But because I have told them, they can change it. However, I know how accurate I am, not because of future divination, but the fact I always nailed the past and the present of the situation. If you can't do that, how are you going to read the future? And my accuracy was up there. But it was fun to talk with my newest nephew. We talked about the different cards in the deck and what they represent. Like the death card rarely represents death. It's often portrayed in the moves and TV that it does, but what it really represents is a change. Something in your life is going to end and you're going to get a new beginning. That's it. The worst card in the deck is the tower. It represent destruction. Basically things turning to crap. I do not like that card, but if it comes up, it's good to pay attention to it. It came up when I was reading the course my marriage was taking. I got that card as the final outcome card. Now before you think that's why I divorced him, it's not. I hung on for another 7 years. I just finally got tired of his crap, his abuse... I was done. And by the time I was done I hated his guts. I would definitely say the tower was rather accurate.

Anyway, after that I had to go take my 5:00pm medication and I was kinda late on it. they actually had to come and remind me. What floored me was that I got mail! I was expecting maybe a couple of the packages I ordered through Amazon. OMG! I got a box and about seven envelopes! I got almost everything all at once! LOL! That was a shock and I was actually a bit embarrassed, believe it or not. But I was happy to have them. I immediately went to my room and opened them all. Oh man, my 007 movies came in - James Bond (Daniel Craig) Collection! Yes! Pride and Prejudice Miniseries with Colin Firth - YES! Gotch! Yes! So happy, happy!

Then it was dinner, then evening group - House Beautification! Ick! But I actually got a chore I got really into. Most chores you can finish in an hour, but I was so into it that I was at it an hour! But I felt good having done it. I think I might even request it next week if I can. I have to say though, that as soon as I was done I was asking to get onto the computer! LOL! I couldn't wait to write my Aussie and write here. What can I say? I just had to share how the last two days have been. Especially the very lucky day I had!

So we'll see how the weather fairs tomorrow!

Oh The Sun Shines Bright!

I have had a very good weekend! Friday was one of the best days I have had in a very long time! Jordan came up to see me! It was so good to see my son! I have missed him so much! Even before he arrived I was having a great day! It being the 1st, I had money. Of course, I have spent way too much, but it had been worth it in my opinion! I ordered several things off of Amazon. Most of them were DVDs. But I did order my tarot deck and book that I used to have. Of course, Jordan arrived way earlier than I thought he would!! In fact, he got there before Community meeting at 8:00am! He was able to join us for the walk though because none of the counselors came with us. He got to meet his "cousin" too! And like I predicted, they hit it off! Of course, after that, I tried to get Jordan signed in as a visit early. No go... He had to go hang out at 7 Eleven while I did my chore. Jerry, his cousin, left to go keep him company. After I was done, I took off to meet them. I left something important behind! Originally we were going to go to The Beach Break Café for lunch, but because Jordan was hungry and we had to be back by 11:00am for group, we tried to get in there early. Unfortunately, they were packed. There was no way we would be able to get seated in time, let alone eat! Instead, Jerry suggested Angelo's burger. Immediately I agreed! They have the best onion rings! So we walk there, though I am not big on walking. Then when we get there, I realized that I didn't have my purse! Which meant, of course, I didn't have my debt card to pay for the meal! Thank God for Jerry. He covered for me. Told me not to worry about it. He saved the day. I got a cheese burger with onion rings and a drink. Jordan got this huge double cheeseburger, I think. Jerry got carne asada fries. I ended up taking half of mine home, of course. That's how it is with me! LOL! I was surprised I ate as much as I did. We barely made it back in time for group. Jordan had to wait at 7 Eleven again. But at noon I told him he could finally come to the door and get checked in. The idea was that Jerry, Jordan and I were going to spend the day together. Jerry, however, ended up disappearing. I waited as long as I could and then Jordan and I took off. We had to. Jordan had to get back to San Diego at a decent hour so he wasn't late getting into where he's living at the moment.

We left and the first thing I did was go to MetroPCS to pay my cell phone bill. I have to pay that. I live on that thing. I have my internet connection. My Aim, YouTube, Facebook... Plus I have Netflix and I sleep to "America Unearthed" every night. After I paid my bill we went next door to 31 Flavors and got ice cream. It was a special treat for both of us. After that, the idea was to get my bus pass renewed, then head to Walmart. Well, when we got to the transit center, we have about five minutes to make the bus to Walmart or the trip was going to be a complete no go, so instead of filling my bus pass, we hoped the bus to Walmart. It was fun at Walmart. Of course, I got stuff I wanted. I also bought Jordan a few things he needed, including new jeans and a new t-shirt. I had to get myself some personal clothing items! LOL! Then I kept forgetting things and we'd end up back and the other side of the store! It took us forever to get done, so the only thing we could do at the end of it was hop the bus back so he could make his bus back to San Diego. I really regretted forgetting my cart. It was a pain in the ass to carry everything back. In fact, once back, I had to smuggle in my stuff in two loads because we didn't have time for Jordan to sign back in and then out again. I had also pulled out the money he needed to take the online class for his Guard card and to get fingerprinted. I want to make sure he can get that done and get a job! But it was so good to see him! I hated to say goodbye. He was able to call me when he got back though, which was nice. That night I took my new medication and I ended up sleeping really well the first night. Unfortunately it wasn't so good the next night, nor last night. But the difference is that I am feeling more refreshed even though I am still waking up at night. I think it's putting me in a deeper sleep. Hey, whatever works!

Saturday was just a rest day really. I don't think anything exciting happened. Nothing I can remember anyway! Then yesterday was great! I have a new "Nephew!" He's Jerry's friend and he just entered the program here. I wanted to get a photo of the boys together, but he doesn't like to have his photo taken for certain reasons so I honored that.

Basically we went to Starbucks to use the WiFi. I wanted to go because I wanted to download Microsoft Word until I saw the price of it. Over $100! YIKES! So I remembered another friend of mine had suggested this program called OpenOffice. It's free and it works with Microsoft office. Basically, someone with Word can opened documents from this program. Now I did download it, but I haven't tried it yet. Fingers crossed that it works. I need it to so I can get back to my writing. It's just not the same writing by hand! It just doesn't flow. It can't possibly keep up with my thought processes where typing does since I am a relatively fast typist. I'm not as fast as I used to be, but I'm still a lot faster than handwriting! LOL! I'll probably try it out tomorrow. I also brought myself a Cream Chai Frappuccino and Jerry a caramel one. Manny bought his own though I offered. He has a thing about people buying stuff for him. That was okay. I got to buy him lunch! ;-) After we were done there we hit this pizza place nearby and to be honest, it was horrible. They charged an arm and a leg and it was like eating the cheapest pizza you can imagine. I'm sorry, but if I'm paying $20 for a pizza, I expect it to be better than Little Cesar's. Ugh! I will NEVER go back there again.

After that we went to Walmart! My favorite place! LOL! DANGER! DANGER! Yes, I spent way too much money! I got a few more food items, but mostly DVDs and three shirts. But one was a replacement of another that somehow got bleach on the back of. I think someone must have accidently splashed me with some. It was fun, but  I left a lot poorer. LOL! We managed to catch the bus right on time and made it back in time for dinner. Of course, I was still full! I couldn't take more than four bites. I felt so bad. I hate wasting food, but I didn't have a choice. I wasn't going to make myself sick. Plus, I don't want to stretch out my stomach. So I through almost all of it away.

That night though, I got to tell Manny all about the different stories I've written and told him of some of the ideas I have for other books; such as my ideas for assassin books. He was so captivated that he wanted me to give him permission to turn it into an anime! LOL! I was like, no... I want to write them into books! But I have to say it could be interesting! I also told him how it was suggested to me to pitch it as a video game. He was excited by that too. That was fun to be able to share my creativity with someone who was really into the stories I was sharing. What's funny though is that he was trying to talk me into getting into video games, but I told him I just wasn't into competition or getting timed. So what does he do? He finds me a cute game that my daughter used to play and I do kinda like called "Animal Crossing." He was telling me how to work it as I played. It was fun! But eventually I had to go to bed.

Today was equally good! I ended up having an appointment with my cardiologist. I left and missed the early bus that I wanted because it had come early, and I thought I wasn't going to be able to do what I wanted to do before my appointment, but as it turned out I still got to the hospital early. I had wanted to go to the gift shop because they sell my favorite chocolates in the world - See's Candy. It is the BEST chocolate. Nothing compares to it in my  opinion. But it's expensive. Still, I bought two boxes. One was truffles! But it was $30 just for that. Then I also brought a little cat stuffy decoration and then a cat vase I had fallen in love with the last time I was there. However, after my purchases I realized that I had gone to the wrong place. I was at the hospital and I needed his office! Thank God it was right across the street! LOL! I got there with time to spare. But he had three people slated for 3:30pm. It took forever to get taken back and then it was quite awhile before he showed up. But I did get to play with his little dog Diego, though and that was fun! He totally destroyed his toy though! We played tug-o-war for a little. It was a bitch to get a good photo of him. There were a lot of fails before I finally got one! Then finally I saw the doctor and he said everything looked fine from the halter monitor, but he had to see my blood work to know for sure. So that's the next thing I have to do. I have to schedule an appointment with my regular doctor to get blood taken and get tests run. I was kicking myself for not bringing my charger because my phone was dying. By the time I was back I was down to 8%. I really need to get a charger I can keep in my purse. Of course, I was playing the music I had bought off the Google PlayStore that morning - Depeche Mode, of course! I got just the songs I wanted and that worked for me! I have been playing them over and over again non-stop! But between that, writing with my friend over aim on our story and playing on Facebook I ran the battery down! LOL! Before I went home though, I had to stop at 7 Eleven and got myself a Horchata drink. For those that don't know it's like liquid rice pudding! Delicious! I did make it back in time to get some dinner though barely! We had Pizza Pasta which is one of the dishes I really like. So glad I got some!

What did aggravate me a little was that they didn't call group. So I missed half of the group tonight. When I pointed that out, I made sure I got full credit for attending even though I missed over half. It wasn't exactly my fault. No one told me and I was distracted. But after that, Jerry asked if I wanted to go get a soda with him and I agreed. From there he wanted to play this lottery game called the Derby Dash or Daily Derby or something. I picked ONE horse! LOL! We'll see how it goes. He said he'd split his winnings 50/50! LOL! We'll see if he wins!

Anyway, the night is coming to an end so it's time to let the sun set on the day and let the night take over. No storm clouds on the horizon so all is good!