Monday, June 22, 2015

Storm Front Averted

Things have been pretty good for the most part over the last week, except that I have been worried a great deal about my daughter. I had not heard from her in over a week, more like two weeks, as of yesterday. The numbers I had for her kept going to voicemail, so I was more than a little worried. The worry had just grown as the days went by. So yesterday, I finally decided to make calls I was putting off. I started calling hospitals and I even called the morgue. Thank god she wasn't there at all. But I also made the decision that if I couldn't reach her or that I didn't miraculously hear from her by Monday, as much as I didn't want to, I would call the police and the sheriff to report her missing. I just didn't want to get them involved, which would get CPS involved and just be a whole other probably, but I was willing to finally do that. I had thought about maybe trying to call some of her friends, but I thought she wasn't talking to most of them anymore and I wasn't sure who she was talking to. Then Nicole asked me if I had any numbers of her friends, which I had looked through my list, though  I guess I only scanned it and didn't think I did, but then I remembered a conversation I'd had with her when she was going to go to her Ex-FiancĂ©'s house to get her things and I was worried about her going alone. She had listed off a bunch of people going with her and I remember hearing the name of her bestie that I hadn't even remembered. So I looked through my contacts and sure enough, found her number. I called, hoping it wasn't disconnected. Well, the girl didn't answer, but I left a voicemail and told her that I really needed to reach Cassi if she was in contact with her. That if I didn't hear from her that I was going to have to call the police on Monday because I wouldn't have a choice at that point. Also, if she could call me back if she hadn't heard from Cassi. 

Well, today I got a call from my daughter and she was like, "I heard you wanted to talk to me." And asked me why I didn't call her on this number when she'd told me to save it. Ugh... me and my memory. She told me for my birthday she was going to buy me a bunch of sticky notes! LOL! I was just thrilled to hear from her! We ended up talking with each other for 1 hour and 15 minutes! God, I really, really needed that! It boosted my mood so much! But I did tell her about her brother, who is seriously struggling and she began worrying about him too. Despite what happened, they still love each other very much and I am thankful for that. What sucks, and she pointed this out to me, is that both of my kids are basically homeless. At least her boy's parents are letting her crash with them for now, so she has a roof over her head and food to eat. I need to call welfare this week and see about her Medi-Cal and see if there is any way I can get food stamps for her, but I doubt it, because she doesn't live with me. I'm not even sure about the Medi-Cal, but I have to find out.

But then there was the issue of my son, Jordan. I have been terribly worried about him for the last several days. His time is almost up at the shelter. He didn't know where he was going to go. He was actually so upset, he was depressed and contemplating ending his life. After what I had just gone through with Jerry, I made him promise me that if it came down to him really wanting to do it that he would go to the ER first! I explained what had transpired with his nephew and told him I just couldn't go through that again. That I loved him and would rather see him in the hospital because something bad happened. Plus, if they couldn't admit him, they would try to get him into a crisis house, where they would do their best to help him. Still, it was like, he wanted to be a security guard. Turns out that things weren't as simple as they seemed. The money I gave him wasn't enough. That upset me because I wanted that to be enough and be able to start his new life. Because of that, he tried applications online and heard back from no one. He's starting to realize that life without a high school diploma isn't so easy and I think he's finally ready to start thinking about getting a GED. Either way, he needs to get a job, somehow. So he was stressing out about being kicked out of the shelter. He could talk to someone on Tuesday about getting an extension, but the chances are not good. He has also been trying to get enough money to pay his phone bill on Monday, which I'm glad about. It means he's still thinking about the future and I told him that a phone was a big priority because we needed to keep in touch and he couldn't really do anything without a phone. Then on Thursday or Friday, he has to go to an appointment at Welfare to renew his food stamps. I think I'm going to talk to him about maybe trying for General Relief too, until something comes up. But my worry is just at an all-time high with him. I posted something on Facebook about being depressed and Nicole my best-friend sister asked me what was wrong. I told her, but rather than keeping up the messages via Facebook, she called me and we talked. She's willing to let Jordan crash on the floor. Plus, her place is right near the Department of Rehabilitation, which is where Jordan really needs to go and I was just telling him about it yesterday. Also that he has to get set up with a psychiatrist and that way, not only will he get help, if he needs it, but that he'll be able to get a disabled bus pass again. He needs it! Plus, Nicole was talking about coming up to visit me with him, because he could take her up! I am happy about that. I still have to call him and tell him, which I am sure he'll be thrilled about! I am just relieved because he'll have a place to go and a place to get help. Maybe this is truly the break he needs! I so hope so!

Anyway, I need to start dinner shortly. I'm making BLTs for the house. I'm going to bake the bacon though, instead of frying it. Less mess and more even cooking. Plus, the bacon won't curl. And if my cooking partner doesn't want to cook, or doesn't feel up to it, I think I can actually handle this all by myself. I mean, literally, it's sandwiches, soup and I believe salad. Come one! I can do this in my sleep. If he wants, he could set the table, though I can probably do that too! LOL! It's good to have an easy dinner. At first, I was kind of intimidated because I was thinking of frying the bacon, then I remembered about baking. I haven't baked it before, but I am more than willing to do it. I think it'll come out so much better! I found two ways to bake it. Well, basically the same thing, just the times are different, so I'll go with the lower time and see how that works out, then adjust as I need to. But I'm following my instincts because every time I don't something goes wrong. So it's time I throw some of their directions out the window - or what's the norm, out the window - and do what I think is right. Things will be much better, I think!
Well, that's it for now. The Storm moved off and sun shines brightly! Life, for the moment, is good!

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