These last two days have been fantastic! I hardly know what to say! Yesterday I woke up and I was still a bit tired. I got more sleep than just 2-3 hours, but I still got under 6. So I was rather tired/sleepy when I wasn't doing something. I was glad to do my chore actually. After it though, Jerry and I hung out. We started talking about magic. Yes, magic. I had a lot of questions for him and wanted confirmation on a few things with him which I got. I can feel things rather than see things for the time being. But that's good. I am very young in the process. I don't expect anyone to understand this, but I had some very interesting visions and I needed to know what they meant. I got the answers. It was exhilarating! Afterwards he told me I was going to have a very lucky day. He wasn't kidding! I am drawn to the water and I have more than one reason to be drawn to the water now, so I went to the beach and walked in the surf. The skies were gray, the wind was blowing a bit, the waves were strong and I still took off my socks and sandals and walked in the water. I let it splash over my feet and sometimes when the waves surged it would go up to mid calf. I was wearing jeans so... but I knew I was going to get wet so it didn't really bother me that much. I was looking for shells, but with as strong as the waves were I couldn't find any and what I did find were broken pieces. I asked just to find one whole, intact shell. Guess what? I found one! It was literally the only one! I also took 42 pictures of the beach and mostly of the waves. I even got to feel the spray on my face a few times. I loved it! Then when I got back to my place I decided to go fill my bus pass for the month finally. On the way, I stopped at 7 Eleven because I had to break my $5 bill. I expected 3 $1 bills back. I got one and then a $2 bill!! Wow! I was so excited! There was no way I was trading that in for two bucks! Then went I went to leave, the other person working there handed me a triangular box and said, "Here have a free piece of pizza." Another WOW! So I decided to push my luck a little bit and since I didn't have the change to ride the bus to the transit center I thought I would explain to the bus driver and see what happened. Worst case scenario I broke my other $5 and waited for the next bus. Well, the bus driver told me not to worry about it! So I got a free drive to the transit center, then when I got to Customer Service there was no line! OMG! I was told later by my other nephew I should have bought a lottery ticket! LOL! I couldn't! I just don't gamble. It's like a waste of money to me. But I could not have asked for a more lucky or better day! The only irritating part of yesterday was that last night I couldn't get onto the computer because the new woman working here didn't have the password to get me on to it. Ugh! But that's okay. I got over it! I did sleep relatively early last night, but I woke up so groggy! Ah well. The last two nights caught up. Hopefully tonight I'll sleep well and wake up refreshed! That would be so nice!
Today has been pretty good for the most part. There was the hint of thunder and lightening however. As I said, I woke up still sleepy. That sucked, but I managed to start my day relatively easy. I did my chore, ate breakfast, went to my room and tried my best not to fall asleep! LOL! I started writing with my friend Patty B, checked in on Facebook and the like. Then I went to morning group where I pretty much wanted to fall asleep. If I hadn't been able to participate I might have! But I woke up a bit when I could add my input and share what I'd learned over time. Basically the lessons we're on in DBT was interpersonal relationships... Yeah... Maybe I'll learn something. Maybe not. I know how to manage relationships except with family. That's an issue. But right now I am learning. Other than that, I already know everything they're talking about. So I shared my own personal experiences. Of course, after that, and when I went back to my room I started getting tired again, so I decided to go to the Farmers Market. Thought I could anyway. I hopped the bus and it turns out that it moves from one location to another. Yeah... when it moves it doesn't open until 5:00pm. Yeah, it was barely 2:00pm I think. So yeah, that wasn't happening. Of course, on my way there my daughter contacts me about her having a job. Great, I said. But I told I hoped she was still going to go to school. She freakin gives me attitude! Excuse me?? That got me worked up. Eventually I told her that she needed to focus on herself other than everyone else because she was asking me when I was going to get a job, which I knew she meant it in a "Bitch" fashion. I almost told her none of her business, but I told her I was waiting on my training class because I could get a job. Then she starts talking about Jordan her brother and is he working yet or still being a loser or however she put it. That's when I told her to focus on herself. Then she comes at me about staying out of her business. I was ready to say something else to her, but I chose not to reply. I still want to. I won't tell her I'm her mother because that will set all kinds of other things off. But she hasn't been going to school and I keep getting calls twice a day from her school notifying me she's absent and each time it's during a group. But then she asks me when I'm getting her her Medi-Cal card. I swear, I want to smack her or at the very least disown her and let her figure this crap out on her own. I am tired of her attitude and then turning around and expecting me to do for her. I suppose I am the one that has to get the card for her, but I honestly don't want to do a thing for that child. After what she did to me in January - her and her fiancé - I don't owe her squat. What I should have done was give her up to the state. I really just don't need the crap she gives me. It ends up derailing my recovery from my mental health issues like the PTSD, which I had added to because of January. When she's 18 that's it. She better not ask me for a thing and if she doesn't like it, I hope she has a nice life. If she wants to change and wants me in her life at some point then maybe things will change, but as I see them right now, I don't see us having much of a future as family. I know that's so sad, but... it is how it is. So that's the threat of thunder and lightening. I am still rather upset when I think about it. She pushes my buttons like no one else can.
I did, however, put it out of my mind and on my way back to the transit center I stopped at the t-shirt mart to see if they had any light blue t-shirts in my size. Jerry told me I would need one once I started working as a volunteer at the Humane Society. They had one so I grabbed it. It wasn't exactly the color I wanted, but it was close enough! Plus it was under $6! Then I decided I was going to walk down this one street and look to see what shops or places were there. I found a coffee house called Maui Wow. They, of course, specialize in Hawaiian coffee. I couldn't resist. I went inside and ordered an iced coffee. They had macadamia nut flavored syrup!! I got three shots of it in a large, purple, plastic Tiki cup with a pink lid! My two favorite colors! It was really good! The bad thing was that my reception sucked for my cell phone and I didn't think to turn my wifi on. Duh! So I got kicked off aim. Not good when I was writing with Patty B. But as soon as I left, after drinking most of my coffee, it came right back. Then I continued walking to the transit. Once I got to my stop, I got a soda at the Circle K and headed back to the house. After I got settled, my other nephew was there. He finished two chapters of my book and asked if it was romantic, I told him yes. Then I realized from our previous conversation that he was rather innocent and I told him it was probably better that he didn't read any more of it anyway! LOL! The scenes in there are rather explicit. LOL! Yeah... He asked me a lot of questions and I answered them the best I could without being two graphic, but he wasn't interested in reading more of it anyway because of the romance. But then we started talking about stories and how he didn't think they needed romance. I mean, I suppose they don't, but I think it adds so much more to a character or story. It can turn a one dimensional character into a real full-blow character. When I wrote for Star Trek PBeM role play groups I was the one the guys went to to complicate their character's lives to make them multi-dimensional for the most part. I was kind of the Complication Queen! LOL! It was fun! I miss the role play groups. We had such a great group of writers.
After that we started talking about the tarot. He didn't know what Tarot cards were so I explained that to him and that I had a deck that got left in Mexico with just about everything else of mine. I have ordered another deck from Amazon. Same deck. But it won't have my energy in it. It will take time for it to soak it in. Not that I won't be accurate with my readings, but they work better the longer you have them. Plus, no one else should handle your deck except you, because it can muddle the energies. I was explaining how you chose a deck by which one you're drawn to. A lot of it is about the artwork/design. It will represent you as a person. I was really good at the tarot. I have no doubt I still am. I have that ability within me. You have to have the ability too. I used a three card spread mostly. Past, Present, Future. Now the thing is, I fully believe the future is fluid. Just because I read you what I see for the future doesn't mean it's going to happen that way. That's just the outcome of the path the person is on at that given time. But because I have told them, they can change it. However, I know how accurate I am, not because of future divination, but the fact I always nailed the past and the present of the situation. If you can't do that, how are you going to read the future? And my accuracy was up there. But it was fun to talk with my newest nephew. We talked about the different cards in the deck and what they represent. Like the death card rarely represents death. It's often portrayed in the moves and TV that it does, but what it really represents is a change. Something in your life is going to end and you're going to get a new beginning. That's it. The worst card in the deck is the tower. It represent destruction. Basically things turning to crap. I do not like that card, but if it comes up, it's good to pay attention to it. It came up when I was reading the course my marriage was taking. I got that card as the final outcome card. Now before you think that's why I divorced him, it's not. I hung on for another 7 years. I just finally got tired of his crap, his abuse... I was done. And by the time I was done I hated his guts. I would definitely say the tower was rather accurate.
Anyway, after that I had to go take my 5:00pm medication and I was kinda late on it. they actually had to come and remind me. What floored me was that I got mail! I was expecting maybe a couple of the packages I ordered through Amazon. OMG! I got a box and about seven envelopes! I got almost everything all at once! LOL! That was a shock and I was actually a bit embarrassed, believe it or not. But I was happy to have them. I immediately went to my room and opened them all. Oh man, my 007 movies came in - James Bond (Daniel Craig) Collection! Yes! Pride and Prejudice Miniseries with Colin Firth - YES! Gotch! Yes! So happy, happy!
Then it was dinner, then evening group - House Beautification! Ick! But I actually got a chore I got really into. Most chores you can finish in an hour, but I was so into it that I was at it an hour! But I felt good having done it. I think I might even request it next week if I can. I have to say though, that as soon as I was done I was asking to get onto the computer! LOL! I couldn't wait to write my Aussie and write here. What can I say? I just had to share how the last two days have been. Especially the very lucky day I had!